Leadership in an invisible, slow-moving war
After Shabbat dinner one evening, Rabbi Jim put his hand on my shoulder and said "Daniel, I would trust you in a war."
He had served in the Israeli Defense Force, and I could tell he meant what he said.
I was 19 or 20 years old at the time, and I wanted to believe him. But I couldn't. I would have liked to think that, in the heat of battle, I could be trusted with the lives of others. But until you're there, you don't really know.
He said he trusted me in a war, but I had never even been in a fight.
I didn't trust myself.
Now, ten years later, things feel different. The psychodrama facilitation I am drawn to, the intense ceremonial work, and the deep 1:1 work I do with people can be so intense that I often think of it as spiritual combat.
In this kind of war, there is never an enemy to fight against. Instead, it's about fighting for the soul of the person in front of you. Again and again. One soul at a time.
As I continue to do this work, I notice that people are putting more trust in me. My friends, my clients, the men I facilitate, as well as others in my community.
I feel them place their trust in me like Rabbi Jim placed his hand on my shoulder. As they do, I can see in myself today what Jim must have seen back then.
Through this process, I am learning about what leadership really means. To do it well requires a clear mind to stay calm in a crisis. A clear heart to sense what your people need. Courage to take responsibility for the outcome of a situation. Faith in your own instincts, and similarly, faith in the instincts of others.
Leadership is the single hardest skill that I have had to learn. And I am only at the beginning of my journey.
Presaging the carnage of the first World War, the psychologist William James wrote about the need to turn the martial energies of humanity away from life-taking wars and toward battles and causes that are life-giving.
The work we do in the world as leaders of our families, of teams and companies, of our communities, and even of our own inner worlds, is life-giving work. Don't underestimate the stakes.
Today, the WHO reports that more people die from suicide than from conflicts, wars, and natural disasters combined. That doesn't count drug overdoses or the many millions living with chronic depression, anxiety, trauma.
The spiritual battlefield unfolds in slow motion, from one year to another, from one generation to the next. Don't be fooled if it feels slow; lives are quite literally on the line.
It can be easy to equate the responsibility and authority of leadership with our rank. Leadership isn't about being at the top. It takes place on all level of society. When we show up and lead ourselves, we lead others by example. When we step out and living courageously (with heart) for something more than just yourself, we lead—even if we're not the person in charge.
Wherever you are, look over at the person next to you. You're in the trenches together. Both wounded. But still alive. They need your love. And you need theirs. That's the only way we're getting out of this.
When it's all said and done, when the battle is over, we'll all be walking each other home.
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Signup Ends Today:
6-Week Psychodrama Group
Join me starting this Thursday night for a 6-week psychodrama group. This will be a journey that will help you break open long-standing blocks and uncover greater freedom and happiness in your life - all while helping others in communal healing.
Psychodrama uses playacting and bioenergetic release to quickly release stuck anger and grief from our body and help free us from emotional patterns that keep us stuck in life.
The group will be limited to 6 people and sessions will run on Thursdays from July 20 to Aug 24, from 7-9 pm.
Location: Holy Cross neighborhood
Cost: $325 for 6 sessions (12hrs)
Deadline to sign up: Tuesday 18th
To reserve your spot, email Daniel.lev.shkolnik@gmail.com
(If cost is a concern, please speak to me)